Not necessarily the best idea...?

So, it's been a while merely because I had to take my macbook to the Apple Store. It was no longer charging and they had to replace all this stuff- fo free! :) Yeah, that's right, I took it in... ON THE LAST DAY OF MY APPLE CARES WARRANTY! I was so lucky with that one. But anyway, I'm back and have big news related to my last post.

I'm talking to HIM again. I know that it might be a mistake. But, it's my mistake to make in the end. At least I will know that I put in 100% of my effort into making it work out.

Here's how the situation went:

After having deleted him from my phone and facebook, all I could think about was "I wish I had said this," and "I wish I had done that." Well, I didn't want that so I discussed it with my sisters and they agree that if I talked to him I might get some closure. So at first I wrote out a letter, but it was agreed that a letter could be easily ignored. So that brought us to a phone call.

The first problem with that was... I didn't have his number anymore. So I had to ask the brothers from my school for his number and I was super duper paranoid about them gossiping about it but I got his number.

Problem number two? I was scared shitless. I totally thought I would chicken out but I sent a text asking if I could call him the next day... to which he replied that I could call him right then. Boy did I freak. It took my like 5 minutes to actually press 'call,' and then I just had to do it.

So I told him about how hurt I was that he didn't appear to care about our friendship, that I spent 5 months being pissed, upset, hurt, relieved, etc... that I had missed him but I'd also missed him for 2 years leading up to the 'event' and that while I did take some blame, he was the ultimate decider.

Apparently, he did not realize that I wanted him to make first contact after 'the event.' He thought I needed space, time to think about what I wanted. Which I sure did think about that, but I also thought that he wanted nothing to do with me. So... I asked him what he wanted to do. What he planned on doing from here. He said he never wanted to cut ties or not be friends, so I asked again.

What did he plan on doing?

He says he's going to try to talk to me more, actually call sometimes even. He texted me yesterday (Monday), and the call was Friday. So I'm still not allowing myself to be overly optimistic.

That's not to say that I'm hoping with every fiber of my being that it works out.

So we'll see. Maybe it'll blow up in my face and some people will say, "I told you so." But maybe it will work and I'll have one of my oldest friends back.

We'll see.

Roses,

Alli